Alright, so here’s the thing. Doom: The Dark Ages—I mean, I dove into it thinking it’s a nice doorway to the whole Doom saga. Why, you ask? Well, it’s supposed to be a prequel. So, logic tells you, start here if you’ve missed the memo on the Doom and Doom Eternal rides. And listen, I get the appeal of mad-paced shooters, but somehow, Doom was never on my list. Yet, here I was, ready to feast on some lore. Or so I thought.
After wrapping up the 10-hour journey through its 22 chapters, I gotta admit: sense? Out the window. Not that it’s important. Seriously, demons are waiting.
You become THE Slayer, as in, the ultimate demon-whacker. No clue why he’s the best. But who really cares? Let’s just get on with the demon-bashing.
Our guy, Doomguy (yeah, smooth name, right?), is babysat by some alien crew called the Maykrs—sounds fancier if you think of it like “makers.” They just stash him away in this spaceship, chilling above some human-demon chaos. It’s like Winter Soldier vibes, where he’s just idling, awaiting his cue to dive back into the fray.
Initially, before he goes rogue, he’s basically the tech-medieval folks’ secret weapon against Hell (aliens?), or whatever you wanna call ‘em. Earth setting? I dunno. Maybe aliens? Then, boom, shotgun to demon face. That’s more like it.
While on loan, Doomguy makes everyone else look like clumsy amateurs by mowing down demons by the hundreds—yes, even by literally jumping from really high spots. Wild, I know. This isn’t just any story; he’s wrangling with some kingdom to keep some kind of important thing away from that Big Bad Demon dude. Off to Hell, then, maybe some alien world. But does it matter? Nah. When you’re busy with chainsaws and mech suits, who’s got time for plot coherence?
No, this storyline ain’t winning awards, but the gameplay? Different story. Smashing attacks, new melee moves—it’s fun to mash up enemies. By game’s end, with all the magnificent upgrades, you’re this unyielding demon-wrecking machine, switching weapon styles like you’re flipping a light switch. Grab the BFC—Big Freaking Crossbow—and it’s curtains for the demons.
So maybe the plot is a muddle of nonsense. But when you slam through hordes till you lead the demon-slaying, you understand why they dread Doomguy. He’s taken over the Maykr ship. His new hangout, obviously, for demon annihilation plans. Demons’ worst nightmare come true. Picture John Wick, avenging his pup. Nonstop. Why’s he doing this again?
Who cares? Just enjoy using that wicked chainsaw shield, my friend.
